第四十九章: 陌生人

The wonderful night that fit for a review, I lay down on my bed, Glancing at that thick pile of paper, it was definitely "Sejarah Input". I turned through the pages, trying to search for the feel that I had a year ago, and there was this voice I heard, there were 2, the source, clearly from downstairs, the living room. And there went my dad and mom, discussing about me and my perfect little life.

Curiosity kills, my curiosity automatically lead me out side my room, and there I overheard a conversation from upstairs, that then after spoiled and crushed myself into bits and bits. This was what they truely thought about me? Irresponsible, proud over a result that they did not recognize, I was a body with holes, the corrosion of habits, causing me such a terrible price to pay. And here, I have to state it out, before these words start to kill me...

I'm irresponsible? Just because I DRIP A FEW BITS OF WATER ON THE FLOOR AFTER BATH?
I'm irresponsible? Just because I LEFT THE TAP OPEN FOR THAT TWICE???? Dad, ever since you nagged at me for the incident, bathing wasn't pleasure anymore, it was like look out any time for water drops or you'll get a scolding again. Bathing while looking out for thieves. Bathing was to be careful for any disaster like dripping a drop of water on the floor. Checking the tap and close it tightly cause you'll scold me even if the tap drips a little. Responsibility? If I did not gain responsibility, I need not sit in front of the study table everyday and not leaving it for 5 hours, do a survey damn it, how many 15 year old kid can sit down and input a whole fucking lot of data into their brains? If I did not gain responsibility, I need not practice my piano everyday, you claim that I don't cause you don't get to see it when I do, And everytime when I defend myself saying yes I did practice, you say there's no point continuing to talk my son. Responsibility? Just because you became so damn independant when you were young, doesn't mean that these small things that I;m doing doesn't count as responsibility. You feel worried? I feel sad, lost, dissapointed.

Second issue, I came downstairs to inform mom about some important things about piano, I was going to have replacement class on tuesday, wednesday, and thursday, that would mean three days of lesson straight. Teacher said that I would hardly learn anything and asked if I would prefer to pay half the fees next month or continue my classes. It was because of I would hardly learn anything, you pissed off. Hello, don't bless me. Get the situation right first, its not me who requested for that half month fees suggestion, it was my teacher, ask before you talk.

You think you know me so well and yes I have to agree that you know me well, but there was one thing that you left out, it was how I feel, my feelings. Why is it that so many parents around me know how their children feel when you don't? Being in the house with you is like being with a time bomb, I never know how great you want me to be. Dad, If it was the "fuck" word incident, I apologize, But if you're unhappy, am I?

I don't seem to be any better than you...

- 身 骑 白 马-
* 你 说 你 不 快 乐, 我 也 从 来 没 有 快 乐...*