第六十一章：冲破顶端

Another 6 more weeks till we sit for trials. NIE is finally finished, so is the arca. Next up, perhaps, gonna organize a visit to old folks home and orphanage for 3A4. Hope it'll succeed. Also in the meantime, doing some real intensive revision, I don't think there will be any free time for me to go out and relax. What's to be happy is my purata though, manage to maintain it above 80. The exact figure should be 81.4 if not mistaken. I'll keep my fingers crossed for that class position. Speaking about it, our class seems very lag, other classes already have their photos, but we still haven't got ours. Other classes all ready have their positions and results, while I don't know what Pn.Premah is up to. Just gotta keep waiting.

Phyllis left us today, she'll be transferring to an international school, all the best Phyllis! Don't forget the wonderful times you had with the friends you made in 3A4. Never never delete those photos in your DSLR. When the bell rang today, everyone was surrounding her saying goodbyes and farewell. According to Jo-Ee's blog, Chee Hong gave her a hug. WOW. And I just thought of this saying my primary teacher once told me when I graduated. "Departures aren't made to separate relations, they are made to let us know how warm it feels to reunite."

Departures huh? Life is such a long journey with all the partings and landings. How do we value it. What's the value of life to you? For me, I just don't want to live with regrets, I want to pursue that musical dream and out stand one day. There are so many elements in life, but never lack of one important part that I lack of. Friendship. That's a sincere advice for ya. For me, I don't care how much things can make me suffocate, I won't give a rat's ass about the obstacles, there's nothing to be afraid of, you see an obstacles, eliminate in and progress, don't stop walking until you reach the summit.

This is a song of inspiration and also the song of the week. I believe I posted the MV on facebook.我是一只小小鸟 - 丁当

有时后我觉得自己像一只小小鸟
想要飞 却怎么样也飞不高
也许有一天我栖上枝头 却成为猎人的目标
我飞上了青天才发现自己从此无依无靠
每次到了夜深人静的时候我总是睡不着
我怀疑是不是只有我的明天没有变得更好
未来会怎样究竟有谁会知道
幸福是否只是一种传说 我永远都找不到
我是一只小小小小鸟 想要飞呀飞却飞也飞不高
我寻寻觅觅寻寻觅觅一个温暖的怀抱
这样的要求算不算太高

所有知道我的名字的人啊你们好不好
世界是如此的小 我们注定无处可逃
当我 尽人情冷暖 当你决定为你了的理想燃烧
生活的压力与生命的尊严哪一个重要
我是一只小小小小鸟 想要飞呀飞却飞也飞不高
我寻寻觅觅寻寻觅觅一个温暖的怀抱
这样的要求算不算太高?

第六十章：归路

I survived my camps during the two weeks of school break, I crossed over my birthday, and survived amazingly after 3 days most of the examination papers are returned. Not Satisfying but yet as expected, obviously I could have done better, up next would be the trials and then the BIG BANG (PMR). As a conclusion, it's back to life again Yu Han, buck up.

Not much to talk about, since there aren't any real stuff I can talk about. I'm not in the World Cup Mood. Besides, like what Wei Jian said at facebook, This is officially the worst world cup ever. It even upsets me to see North Korea getting pawned to the corner. I laughed my ass out when I read to Star article : "A potful of goals." But what I can really discuss about is the latest educational issue, abolishing UPSR and PMR. Seriously, Muhyiddin, S.T.F.U, no, not Shut The F*** Up, it's "Save Tomorrow For Us." Come up with some better ideas, don't waste your ass load of time on some priceless idea. YOU SAID THAT THE EXAMINATIONS ARE STRESSING THE STUDENTS, HELL NO!!!

I personally think the root of all problems come from the misuse of results and figures, the society today put so much attention on getting the figures that they forget what is the purpose of a government examination. Anyways to solve the damn thing? I'm afraid it's too late. What the government can do right now, is stop stressing on results, on comparing the percentages between all schools in Malaysia. Slight changes should be made on the syllabus, don't make it so easy, make it a little more challenging and enough will be enough. Revalue the teachers and fire those who are obviously not doing any good for education, remain those who are really worthy of what we call a teacher.

Song Of The Week
风中的羽翼 - 杨培安

黑夜过后太阳就要升起
暴风雨过后也就会天睛
让我们一起手牵手向前
彩虹就在我们心底
人生路一定有风也有雨
用泪水灌溉生命的勇气
用希望化作风中的羽翼
让梦带走心中的忧郁
你陪伴我穿越过高山和大海
我的心有你才会澎湃
我愿意放弃所有坚持和骄傲
相信你因为相信爱

第五十九章：哭泣，战越自我的那一刻

Dead blog? Nope, I'll keep it alive, but very seldom from this moment on. Suppose after the exams, This blog should be frequently updated, but hey, there are a lines of battles coming up after the month, and I don't want to end up like this exam, but I gotta admit, peeking wasn't so hard after all. *Coughs*.I don't have anticipations this time, not looking forward to the figures, I'm definitely dropping this time, what shocks me is Sejarah, my strongest subject, I LOST TO MY CONFIDENCE !!! 50/60!!!! T.T.

Back to business, there's definitely a reason for that title up there, "Teardrops, the moment I cross the borders." Yep, as usual, I went to the camp for the 3rd time. But I'll try to make my inspiration short.

I once read an article online which really kept me thinking and wondering for some time. (Unfortunately I can't find the article now.)

"Life is just like a cycle of battles, the moment we land on the earth, the moment we start to feel the touch of the doctor's palms, we are resisting pain, we fight, and we start to grow up, we walk, talk, learn, gain knowledge, and by the stage of a teenager. We start the toughest struggles of life. We're clear of our goals, we fight to achieve the figures, just so an "A" on the report card can draw smiles on our parents faces, but then I *the writer* start to realize, no matter how great the "A" is, my dad seems to be losing a part of himself, soon, the same goes for my mom too. Haven't I tried hard? It's an "A" after all. The "mystery" continued until one day I had woken up from the foolishness of my thoughts.

Humans are fighting, the battles are countless, we have our goals, that is all true. But living a life full of achievements isn't enough. Today in society, we lack of a important element. An element that has united mankind, that can prevent the break up of a nation, that has made us feel happy, that element is known as "Love". For years I have tried hard to claim victory, but my goals blinded me from giving my parent's love. I long to give them love, but now, all that's left to face, is the coffin of the person who gave so much to protect me. That proves how foolish mankind is."

In the camp, I salute the organizers that have made me cry for a shocking number of 3 times. I guess I'm really to starting to know the value of a family. They say "Work hard to pay the depths of your mom and dad." But I say, even if our parents lived for 220 years, we'll never ever be able to pay back what they have done for us.

Mom, Dad. I love you.

- 身骑白马-
* 世上有两样东西不能等，孝顺，行善…*

第五十八章：故事复杂了

Even when Life get's to the climax, yet I feel blank as I try to put up an update. This'll be the last update untill the mid-semester break. So I'm gonna spit out what ever I want to say.

Exam's around the corner. Sigh, I'm really left behind. I've only just started science and sejarah. I haven't touched a single thing if you talk about other subjects. The fear I have towards maths and BM, it's shaking my goosebumps off that I can't sleep tight during the nights. It's awful. I don't wanna dissapoint myself and my parents. But somehow I don't seem to have the spirit to go on saying "You can do it, buck up..." anymore. Result? I emo. Everyone is emo. Lol?

Second, Had some time lately to think about pollution and stuff. And I made an amazing discovery. Wanna know the main source that's harming the environment in Malaysia? Sime Darby should be blamed. Look at all the stuff they're building. It freaks me out. Mom told me that they would not even let go a football field around USJ 16. And so I wonder, how they manage to get approvals from the government that easily? Simple, a little bribe and adding up the person who is receiving the bribe, someone most probably from BN, things get so much easier. And then I went deeper, isn't there anyway to stop these people? Honestly, our only hope to reduce pollution will be the next national election. That's when more other parties win a little more seats in the parliament, then things won't get so easy for BN and Money suckers from Sime Darby. And so? Pollution can also be saved through election. WHAT???

Third, err... I don't feel like talking about it. It's something about wushu... whatever song of the week? Well, it's specially dedicated to "You"...

Paramore - The Only Exception

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now

I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Ohh---

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

Add-ups : Hari Sukan? I'm not going, but I know merah tried if they aren't victorious tomorrow... Gambateh guys :D

第五十六章：世纪性的感触

“我从你们的呈现中，感受不到团队精神。。。”

And so I wonder, how long will it take till I get to see true unity in every project that commences in my secondary life. I've been in Catholic High School for two years, well, to be precise, it's been more than that, but never once have I felt the full contribution of every soul in every team I have been in. When I was in my first year, NIE totally pissed me off, Don't wanna mention about it. In form 2, my sivik projek was about to murder me, I was willing to go solo, and ever since then, people around me would think : "Yu Han should learn how to team up."(Somehow I suppose?) Team up? I gave my life and time on every project I did, but when I get serious every other team mates will be distracted, that pisses me off the most. Fine, then perhaps I'll do it the simple way, by giving jobs equally along everyone, we'll set a deadline and everyone hands in the damn sheet. When the fated day comes, I only receive excuses. Is it my prob or yours? Me being all alone today I must admit somehow sources from those facts. Screw me or you? Fuck.

Back to the schedule, I had to stay back for school as I had a camp meeting, It was supposed to start at 2 but started 15 minutes late due to speed problems, girls tend to take their sweet time eh? Really don't get it though, I am the one being serious but yet I'm the one getting fucked. They're the ones playing around while they get their benefits. That's it. Don't wanna talk about it. The meeting as usual met up with conflicts. Some one is suspecting the way of the activity that I suggested and shall lead. I'll have to do a presentation next week. So whoever that was who suspected, a nice "Fuck you" I wish to you.

Emo-ness? I emo-ed today. When I was waiting alone at 3A2 for the meeting. And yes I can't doubt it. I was thinking about you. Looked outside the windows and stared at the skies just like usual.

Having a performance tomorrow night. I'll need all my strength. So I'll stop here.

Song of the week

听见牛在哭

疲惫的旅途 谁还记得来时路
我们都是生命的俘虏
要怎么说才清楚

盲目 苛求幸福 越盲却越孤独
还不认输 单纯的付出
为她一笑而哭 一而再迷路
情感像那首歌 在梦里反复
一只牛要卖五千块
五千块要买一只牛
若注定这就是归宿
谁听见牛在哭
晨雾中看不清终点
回家的路

-身骑白马-

*Fallin for you=D*

第五十五章：生命的终止

I felt like time and life started to stop lately. So the title up there's kinda random. If you'd think that the blog's dead, I just managed to squeeze some time up to revive it, kay?

1) Why time and life stopped? Because I've reached a point where I find no reason to keep the spirit going on. Quite some bumps blocked me lately. A little depression for not entering the finals. Eventually fallin' for you day after day after day, somehow I think it's quite unbelievable, projects and presentations. And most of all, the second battle, 2nd term examination. It kinda freaks me out to know that PMR is near very soon. My projects are so far so good, but I'm kinda left behind if it's about preparations for exams. I've hardly been able to keep up lately except for a few subjects like Sejarah and Science. I'm real worried and I conclude that it's quite depressing now.

2) Something quite fun about 3A4 lately though is our crazy culture - "The human strip" a.k.a Kai Bao. Loads of people have been stripped lately. Its somehow like a drug that can cool you down for a second or two. But once you return to reality, you just gotta face it.

3) I'm in love with the sky. I lately like to sit at one spot of the park near my house and stare at the great blue sky. It releases my stress and it reminds me of you. I wonder, how you're doing. Is your treatment going well, does it hurt? Or are you lonely. Possibly not. But I am. If normal humans have partners, I only have the sky, it's not anyone's fault, it's my weakness. Perhaps on some circumstances, Ven Zheat was right, I'm always doing things on my own. Wasn't it always like this? I've been walking these roads step by step without a whisper of any being, except a shadow walking behind me. I'm lonely, Real lonely, but I asked for it. Screw me.

-身骑白马-

*I don't know, I don't want to speak, hear, or glare... I just want a little credit, is that to much to ask for??*

第五十四章：余音

踏, 那陈旧的舞台，

望，音力一波穿透，

唱，那梦想的音旋，

停，犹豫这段间奏，

闯，这副歌的力量，

然后潮起潮落，

宁静了大殿华堂，

余音，就是生命留下的遗憾，

人生不只限于舞台，

更是最巨大的演奏，

等待最后，流芳百世，

所谓的余音…

- 身骑白马 -